You Oughta Know
by Laiqalasse
Summary: Chapter Three Now Up!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Legolas, Aragorn, Arwen and Glorfindel belong to Tolkien, "You Oughta Know" belongs to Alanis Morissette  
  
Author's Notes: If you don't like an angry Legolas, don't read this. The content is pretty intense, with reference to rather rough sex (no graphic details) and tons of angst. No happy ending. This takes place the night before the Council of Elrond. Book verse. ***SLASH***  
  
  
  
****You Oughta Know****  
  
**I want you to know That I'm happy for you I wish nothing but The best for you both**  
  
The Hall of Fire is filled with Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, Men and one Istar, but to me there are only three people here who matter. You. Me. Her. Since I am a Prince of Mirkwood I do have a seat at the head table, but I am the youngest of the group from Greenwood, so I am seated toward the far end. You, however, are seated near the head as Lord Elrond's fosterling and Lady Arwen's betrothed. I have kept my eyes on you two during the entire meal though you have barely looked at me. You both seem happy and I'm glad that you found each other. Really, I am. Lady Arwen deserves nothing but the best and I truly wish for you to be happy.  
  
**An older version of me Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theatre? Does she speak eloquently And would she have your baby? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother**  
  
As I watch you two I notice how elegant the Lady is and I wonder if you love that about her or hate it. I remember how you and I were. There was nothing elegant about our love or the way we expressed it. We had very little regard for privacy, and we were rarely gentle though we did love each other greatly. Neither was our love conventional, either in wisdom or action. Something tells me that cuffs, ropes and paint brushes have no place in the bed that you and Arwen share. I also don't believe that she has any markings on her body declaring her as yours. I still have some of mine. She seems to be the tame type, a born mother.  
  
**'Cause the love that you gave That we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died?**  
  
Do you remember how long we were lovers? I do. I guess I thought you truly loved me, though now it seems I was a fool. You were always the one giving, I was always receiving. You always found ways to keep me from entering you, though I let you have your way with me. Ai, what a fool I was. It seems you never truly gave me your heart, though you held me through the nights and promise never to leave me until the day you died.  
  
**'Til you died but you're still alive And I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You oughta know**  
  
But you *did* leave me. You left me all alone with no word of where you'd gone or why. I simply woke one morning and you were gone. You weren't in my bed or even in the Palace. Your horse was missing from the stable. I was a wreck for months, worried about you, worried about us. Finally I realized that you'd done it to me on purpose. I felt used.  
  
**You seem very well Things look peaceful I'm not quite as well I thought you should know**  
  
You look so happy as you sit there, laughing softly with Arwen at some story of Glorfindel's. If one didn't know better, one would think that you're already married and that there was nothing wrong in the world. One would probably think the same thing by looking at me but they would be mistaken. You broke my heart. Do you know that? When I finally realized that you'd left me I stopped speaking unless it was absolutely necessary. I hardly ate or rested and I still suffer. I have many nightmares. Most frequently I have to watch you be torn away from me by war or freak accident. I wake in a panic then remember that you left me intentionally. It makes me throw up every time.  
  
**Did you forget about me Mister Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner It was a slap in the face How quickly I was replaced And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?**  
  
I have stopped wondering why you didn't contact me. I have stopped caring. The "why" is not important anymore. Now I know the truth. Now I know that when you came to me and shared my bed you were aware of your heritage and destiny. You *knew* that you couldn't have me forever yet you let me believe you would. Only a few short years after you left me you were betrothed to Arwen. From my bed to hers without a word to me. It was a betrayal. I hate you for it. Was I not good enough for you? A Silvan prince *is* beneath an Eldarin princess, after all, and you need a queen if you are to be king. From my bed to hers. Does my face ever flash before your eyes as you rock into her? Does her body become mine? Does she ever cry out in pain because every once in a while you forget it's her and not me and you thrust hard, deep and fast? Does she know? Do you ever cry out *my* name?  
  
**'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed That was me and I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes And you know it And every time I scratch my nails Down someone else's back I hope you feel it Well can you feel it?**  
  
I suppose I was something for you to brag about in the world of Men. The beautiful Elven prince that you bedded while it was convenient then left without a word of acknowledgement. Do you laugh about it with the other Men at the inns? Those thoughts haunted my mind for months until I finally began to recover. I decided that I would remind myself that though I may be dead to you, I *was* still alive. Since you left me I have taken many, many lovers and they all knew that I didn't love them. Every time my fingernails leave marks on another back I think of you. Can you ever feel the pain? Do my thoughts ever penetrate the haze of your mind? Do you ever get shivers down your back like someone lightly dragging fingers down your spine? That's me though it's not really you.  
  
**Well I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me You oughta know Well I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me You oughta know**  
  
Dinner is now over and you walk away from the table, still laughing with Arwen. I let you go for now though not forever. My original purpose in coming here was to deliver news to Lord Elrond. However, I have found a *new* mission. I will visit you tonight. I will visit you and you will know what you have done to me. I will not let you deny anything. As I watch you disappear into the crowd I hope you have a pleasant evening for your night will not be much fun.  
  
********  
  
whew. was that intense enough for ya?! If you beg, I might consider writing this from Arrers' POV 


	2. II

***Aragorn's POV***  
  
Soft grey eyes gaze up at me and sweat shines on a delicate brow. Golden hair fans out around a gentle face and I lean forward, pressing a rough kiss onto already passion-bruised lips. My hips thrust forward fast and hard and the beautiful mouth gasps against mine. I continue to thrust into tight heat until the lithe body convulses around and I feel a wet stickiness between us. Moments later I empty myself into the heated body and scream out a name.  
  
"Legolas!" I jerk upright in bed, sweat dripping into my eyes. With growing shame, I feel the stickiness of my dream-release on my stomach. With a groan I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. The floor is cold under my bare feet and I quickly throw on a pair of breeches and a loose tunic, not bothering to lace it up. It is late and most of Imladris should be quiet and deserted. I stealthily make my way down the hall to one of the bathing rooms and lock the door behind me. Within minutes I have a tub full of hot water and I slip out of my clothes and into the welcoming liquid.  
  
My head rests against the edge of the tub and I close my eyes. I haven't dreamt of Legolas in years and tonight's dream has me rattled. I love Arwen, I really do. I would feel absolutely lost without her and my heart breaks knowing that I may never be able to call her my wife. So why the dream about Legolas? I should be happy and content being here once again with my betrothed. I should not even be *thinking* about anyone else that way, let alone dreaming and fantasizing.  
  
I sigh then duck under the water, wetting my hair. When I emerge I run a hand over my face, clearing away the water that clings to my lashes and eyebrows. I open my eyes to see Legolas standing silently in the corner. His presence surprises me but I try not to show it. "What are you doing here?" I do a fairly admirable job of sounding distant and uninterested.  
  
"I came to talk to you." His voice is not how I remembered it. Back when we were lovers it was soft and gentle. Sweet. Now it has a hard edge to it. An edge that cuts to the bone.  
  
My eyes rake over him and I realize that he is dressed in his traveling clothes with his baldric strapped onto his shoulders. Odd. "You came to me in the middle of the night to talk? How did you even get in here? The door is locked."  
  
He looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Yes, the door is locked but the window is open." I reflexively glance at the window, confused. "Aragorn, I am an Elf. The fact that we are several stories up is no problem for me. I saw you leave your room and I followed you here. When I found the door locked I simply came in through the window."  
  
I try to save face by nodding. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Again I try to keep my voice neutral. He doesn't answer but stands there, staring at me. Suddenly I feel very afraid. I grew up with Elves and I tend to forget that they are truly volatile creatures when provoked. Though I don't know the reason, Legolas is apparently extremely upset. His grey eyes bore into me, fixing me to the spot. He stands perfectly straight and perfectly still; like he's stalking some sort of prey animal. Me. Shivers run down my spine.  
  
Finally he speaks. "What do I want to talk about? Hmm. Let's see. Why don't we talk about how you left me." He moves forward a few steps and the moonlight hits him, casting an unearthly silver glow about him.  
  
"No Legolas." I am determined not to open this particular topic. "I had my reasons and I will not discuss them." I keep my voice hard, letting him know I will not bend.  
  
I was wrong. Anything will bend under the right circumstances. Faster than my eye can follow, Legolas reaches behind his shoulder and draws one of his white knives. He holds it out and approaches. "We *will* discuss the reasons, Aragorn." The tip of the knife presses into my throat and I swallow nervously.  
  
I never would have thought him capable of this but as I look into his eyes I see that this is not the same gentle Elf I used to love. There is a mad glint in Legolas' eyes and I know that this new Elf is crazy. I nod just the slightest bit. "All right. I'll discuss this with you if you'll please just put the knife down."  
  
He smirks and twists the knife slowly. "You are hardly in a position to be making demands, Estel." The way he says my name leaves no doubt that he meant it as an insult. "Now, I wish to hear why you left me the way you did. Why you *used* me the way you did." He settles himself on the edge of the tub, leaving the knife pointed at my throat.  
  
"I never used you Legolas!" My protest is cut short when the icy tip of the knife presses harder into my skin. "I swear, Legolas, I never meant to hurt you. When I first met you I was entranced by your beauty and I sought your friendship. It didn't take long before you had me completely under your spell..."  
  
His hard, cold voice interrupts me again. "So now it's my fault? I bewitched you, leaving you no choice but to hurt me?!"  
  
"No! That's not what I meant. Elbereth, Legolas, how can I tell you how you affected me. I admit, I was selfish, bedding you when I knew I couldn't hold you for the rest of my life no matter how much I wanted to." I hear a disbelieving snort and continue. "I did, Legolas. I wanted to hold you until the day I died but I knew I couldn't. I knew, but I ignored it for a selfish time of pleasure."  
  
"And how is that not using me? Please explain."  
  
"Because I loved you!" I am afraid to move and I hope my eyes can convey how sincerely I mean what I say.  
  
The Elf sits calmly for many long moments before his cold, quiet voice drifts to my ears. "And now?"  
  
I lower my eyes. "No, Legolas. Not anymore. Love is like this water; hot at first but the longer you sit the more it cools unless you do something to refresh it. I loved you when I left you and I left because I was afraid. I knew I'd made a mistake and I didn't know how to correct it so I fled. Stars, Legolas! I was only twenty-two! Still a child even by the standards of Men! I'll admit, I was acting selfishly, not thinking about the pain it would cause you, but I never hurt you intentionally."  
  
The knife vibrates and I raise my eyes to the Elf. He is trembling and his eyes no longer hold that mad gleam. Instead they are dark and dull. I think I fear that more than the craziness. "I... I..." His voice quavers then he releases the blade which splashes into the tub and sinks to the bottom. For a moment he doesn't move but finally he rises slowly to his feet and moves silently to the door, never giving me another glance. He stands before the locked door and leans his head against it, as if he needs it to hold him upright.  
  
I open my mouth to speak, to call him back, but he pushes back from the door then opens it and passes out into the corridor like a shadow. Oh fuck. I think I just broke him.  
  
********  
  
so. more? *evil grin* 


	3. III

Author's Notes: all right. here's part three finally. there's the already established Legolas/Aragorn slash here, and i've introduced Glorfindel/Erestor though it's just a minor little side-thing-y. nothing big or important. lastly, Legolas calls Glorfindel "Ada" in this story. obviously he does not mean this literally but it comes from the bane of my existence... "Greenleaf." (btw, the first little chapter of "Greenleaf" will *hopefully* be up sometime next week) just know that Glorfindel is very fond of Legolas and Legolas really looks up to Glorfindel.  
  
U-nalla = don't cry // tol-si hen = come here, child // henneth = window // nen = water // sigil = knife // cost = quarrel // meleth = love // Ind-Ada = heart-father (a nickname that Legolas gave to Glorfindel when he was a child since they are so similar in their hearts)  
****Glorfindel's POV****  
  
I hover somewhere between dream-state and wakefulness, basking in the happy contentment of being wrapped in Erestor's warm embrace. All the grief I've suffered in my double life has been worth it since it led to this moment. All the beings of the world should be this happy...  
  
The heavy door to my bedchamber creaks open. It seems for a moment as if it opened itself for no one enters the room though the door is far too heavy to have blown open. I am about to go investigate when a pale, slender figure slips into the room. It seems for all the world as though a ghost has just graced me with its presence. In a way I am not far wrong.  
  
The figure steps closer to the bed and I realize that it is Legolas who stands there staring at me. He looks different. The youngest prince of Mirkwood has always been more pale than most but now he seems almost translucent. His eyes are vacant and even his golden hair has lost its luster. When he exhales his breath swirls silver against the darkness though it is not nearly cold enough for that. To my horror his eyes fill with tears and one crystalline drop rolls down his pale cheek.  
  
"U-nalla, Legolas." His vacant blue eyes are still fixed on me, but I have to wonder if he truly sees me. "Tol-si hen." I hold a hand out to him and before the words have completely left my mouth, he flies into my arms, burying his head in my shoulder.  
  
"Henneth... Dunadan... nen... sigil.. cost... meleth..." His tears wet my skin and I can only make out individual words through his quiet sobs. Or maybe he's only speaking individual words. He shivers in my arms and I press the back of one hand to his neck. He's freezing cold! I know I should be concerned about Estel given Legolas' incoherent ramblings, but I find that my heart still has not forgotten the little Elfling that I helped pull out of his shell and who now needs my help again.  
  
"Glorfindel?" The rich voice belongs to Erestor and I turn my head slightly toward my lover.  
  
"I'm afraid something has happened but I cannot leave Legolas alone like this. See if you can find Estel and make sure he is well." Erestor gapes at me for a moment then quickly climbs from the bed and pulls a robe on as he heads for the door. With one last curious glance over his shoulder he vanishes into the dark corridor beyond.  
  
Now I can turn my attention back to Legolas. "We need to get you warm, Pen- tithen-nin. How about we retire to the Hall of Fire? We can curl up before the great fire and talk about what happened to you. Does that sound all right?" I find myself speaking to him as if he were a child again. I feel him nod against my chest and I sit up, drawing him with me. Without loosening my grip on the distraught Prince I reach for my robe and pull it on. Legolas refuses to let go of me so I simply stand and gather him into my arms. I carry him in this manner all the way to the Hall of Fire.  
  
A blast of warm air hits me as I step through the threshold into the Hall and I smile, knowing that this will be good for Legolas. I settle him directly in front of the hearth and go about gathering cushions and blankets. Finally I settle back behind him and draw him back into my arms, covering us both with blankets. I am sweltering but I don't mind as I know this is for his good. Startled blue eyes stare up at me and I sense a clearness to them now that wasn't there before. It seems that the Golden Prince is beginning to return to the land of the waking.  
  
"Ind-Ada, I am afraid I have done something horrible." His tear-filled blue eyes peer up at me clouded by both sorrow and worry and my heart breaks at his distress. "I remember I had a knife pressed to Estel's throat but then ... I don't really remember. Something happened and I left. I don't know where the knife is or where Estel is or even if he's all right." His voice quavers as he pleads with me. "Help me, ada."  
  
Tears spring to my eyes at the helplessness in him. What happened to the child of my heart? I gather the slim blond into my arms again and pull him closer to me. "I have sent Erestor to look for Estel. He'll find him and everything will be fine, all right? You'll see." I repeat these words over and over, wondering if they're really meant for him or me.  
  
The child clings to me as though I am his lifeline and I find myself wishing to keep him here with me forever. I love this golden prince with all my heart and I never wanted to let him go in the first place. I hated having to let him return to that cold palace in Mirkwood where he would have to live under his father's iron fist. I was afraid for him; I was afraid of what would become of him. He's always been such a delicate spirit... Perhaps I shouldn't have helped him break down his mental barriers. I would rather see him intact with mental walls a mile thick than to see him like this, shattered and empty. I long to ask what happened to make him this way but I think he'll tell me in his own time.  
  
As I gently stroke the blond head I realize that the prince is dozing against my shoulder and I carefully maneuver so that my back is against a divan, pulling the warm body closer. I wonder when the last time was he truly rested.  
  
********  
  
wow. alright. that was shorter than i expected but i hit that point and decided it was a good place to stop. thanks for reading and stay tuned for chapter IV of "You Oughta Know" coming soon. 


	4. Author's Notes

I want to thank all my wonderful reviewers who have kept me going for so long. I just feel I owe it to you guys to let you know that this story *WILL* be updated... eventually. I've been really busy at work these last couple months (working on a promotion) as well as dealing with my horses, so I haven't had much of a chance to really write anything.  
  
For those interested, my fanfiction will soon be hosted on TrinityC's site. If anyone is interested in updates and such, email me at: Laiqalasse@musician.org  
  
Thanks all, and happy spring!  
  
~~Laiqalasse~~ 


End file.
